1 00:00:03,260 --> 00:00:04,760 Guys, I'm worried about my mama. 2 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,500 She was stressed out lately. 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:07,720 Why do you say that? 4 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:10,980 Well, she's been yelling a lot. Mean for no reason. 5 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:12,880 Plain old scary. 6 00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:14,740 It's like one of her good days. 7 00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:18,740 Mama, what's wrong? 8 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:23,340 What do you think is wrong? I'm taking way too many classes. Lady Egyptian 9 00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:25,380 are down and I just bounced my first check. 10 00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:26,660 You be so hard on yourself. 11 00:00:26,980 --> 00:00:28,940 You hasn't bounced a check. Shut up, T. 12 00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:34,530 If one more bad thing happens to me, I'm going to lose it. 13 00:00:34,950 --> 00:00:37,110 Then you don't want to look over your shoulder. 14 00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:41,230 Of all the nerves. 15 00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:43,890 Mama, no! 16 00:00:55,410 --> 00:00:59,350 Just who do you think you are? Miss Parker. 17 00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:02,110 I will deal with you in a minute. Now, listen. 18 00:01:02,390 --> 00:01:06,390 This is my school and my man. Oh, Lord. Miss Parker. 19 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,050 Don't you see me talking? 20 00:01:10,290 --> 00:01:11,990 I don't think we've been introduced. 21 00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:14,990 I'm Tony Ross, the new dean of students. 22 00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:16,370 And my boss. 23 00:02:11,910 --> 00:02:12,910 You seem stressed out. 24 00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:15,090 Because you interrupted my quiet time. 25 00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:19,850 Mama, just for fun, why don't I give you this stress test from this magazine? 26 00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:22,010 It's just ten simple questions. 27 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:26,570 Okay, go ahead and waste your time, but your little test will show I am the 28 00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:27,570 picture of calm. 29 00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:33,550 If someone cuts you off in traffic, would you ask... 30 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,040 would be other. 31 00:02:46,540 --> 00:02:47,540 Moving on. 32 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,560 If you drove off with the wrong order from a drive -thru window, would you 33 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,000 add... I'd back my car up, yank him through that little drive -thru window, 34 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,000 beat him down. 35 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,780 Who the hell is that? 36 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,039 What's up, girl? 37 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,100 Her blood pressure? 38 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:10,440 Get this, man. 39 00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:14,980 Tim thinks I'm stressed out. Ooh, I know I am. I'm turning 30. It's Saturday. 40 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:18,280 Oh, dang. Mama's stressed out. You can't count? 41 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:23,620 Girl, 42 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:24,840 what you gonna do for your birthday? 43 00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:28,400 Staying home, curling up with an episode of Soul Food. 44 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,660 You stay home every night. We going out. 45 00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:33,200 I said we going out. 46 00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:36,600 Why don't you guys hit that new salsa club, the Bongo Room? 47 00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:39,700 It says here that dancing is a good way to relieve stress. 48 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,260 Not if you can't dance. 49 00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:43,760 The only sauce I do comes with chips. 50 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,780 Well, why don't you have Daddy teach her? He's a great dancer. 51 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:55,660 That's a good idea. You know, he and I, we're like Fred Astaire and Ginger 52 00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:56,660 Rodgers. 53 00:03:58,800 --> 00:03:59,800 Ow! What? 54 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,120 Well, 55 00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:04,840 if you followed my lead, your foot wouldn't be in the way. Now, come on, 56 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:05,860 go. Come on. One, two. 57 00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:36,020 Now, you know she a little slow. 58 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,440 Hey, I'm in the room. 59 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,440 Now, girls, just pipe down and pay attention. 60 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,900 Now, look, you come on. You try it with Mel. Okay, 61 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,000 on the count of three. One, two, three, go. Back, two, three. Relax. 62 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,620 Now, easy. No, no, no! 63 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,760 Now, you two look like two soul train rejects. 64 00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,020 Now, listen. 65 00:04:58,140 --> 00:05:00,660 The salsa is a dance of passion. 66 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,740 Something he would know nothing about. 67 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,380 I was married to you. 68 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:12,100 Hey, maybe you two want to take this outside. 69 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:15,280 You know what, Andy? I have a better idea. Why don't we take this to my 70 00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:16,380 okay? 71 00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:18,840 There are no irritating annoyances there. 72 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:21,140 Okay, sounds good to me. 73 00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:45,890 I think God put him on this earth for two reasons. To get on my nerves and 74 00:05:45,890 --> 00:05:46,890 on my nerves. 75 00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:48,810 Well, maybe you should try these. 76 00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:50,130 Oh, what are they? 77 00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:52,030 They're Chinese relaxation balls. 78 00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:53,790 They're supposed to relieve your stress. 79 00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:56,890 Oh, well, I guess living with a billion people would drive anybody crazy. 80 00:05:58,130 --> 00:06:00,790 How do they work? You're supposed to roll them around like this. 81 00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:02,730 Try it. Oh, okay. 82 00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:05,610 Now close your eyes. 83 00:06:06,770 --> 00:06:08,370 Don't forget about all your troubles. 84 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,300 Try to visualize something that'll melt your stress away. 85 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:20,140 I see a beach. 86 00:06:20,580 --> 00:06:21,960 That's good, that's good. 87 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:27,300 Me and Denzel on the beach. 88 00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:32,740 How do you feel? 89 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,060 Lucky. 90 00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:38,860 Now repeat after me this soothing mantra. 91 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,440 Inhale, exhale, let it go. 92 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:47,160 Inhale, exhale, let it go. 93 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,400 Wow. 94 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000 Is it working? 95 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,340 Girl, who cares? 96 00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:54,400 Denzel just took off his trunks and ran in the... 97 00:07:27,340 --> 00:07:29,420 Question it. You don't look nothing like Halle Berry. 98 00:07:31,420 --> 00:07:32,560 Girl, you better run. 99 00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:34,860 That's okay. 100 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:36,360 It'll wipe right out. 101 00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:38,420 Who are you? 102 00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:41,700 I'm calm, cool, and collected. 103 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,060 Thanks for the techniques Kim showed me. 104 00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:48,660 And... My destructive balls. 105 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,460 Those are the best kind. 106 00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:54,480 You trying to be cute, or you said cute? 107 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,060 Oh, no, I'm looking for male. 108 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:57,400 Male? 109 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,860 Yeah, since he's been teaching me to salsa all week, I thought I'd invite him 110 00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:01,940 join us. You don't mind, do you? 111 00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:05,220 No, girl, it's your birthday. If you want to ruin it, go right ahead. 112 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:06,700 Oh, there he is. 113 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,520 How do I look? 114 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,160 Girl, it's just now. 115 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:17,580 Wow. This is a birthday girl and a bit of sidekick. 116 00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,100 Nice to see you too, Mal. 117 00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:21,740 What's that supposed to mean? 118 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,460 I'm going to check my code. Oh. 119 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,400 Nicky, would you be a dear to take mine, too? 120 00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:28,860 Damn. 121 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,700 Well, no wonder it only took you a second to get dressed. 122 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:33,839 You're naked. 123 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,620 Oh, don't hate me because I'm beautiful. 124 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,179 Man, would you buy the birthday girl a drink? Absolutely. 125 00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:43,840 Golly, Miss Molly. 126 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,000 Well, actually, it's Miss Parker. 127 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:49,540 And I got a name for things anyway. 128 00:08:56,750 --> 00:08:58,970 It's our first day soon, having a drink with your dad. 129 00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:01,410 Daddy's here? Looks like everybody's here. 130 00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:03,190 Hey, there's the professor. 131 00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:42,870 Inhale. 132 00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:44,270 Exhale. 133 00:09:45,190 --> 00:09:46,190 Let it go. 134 00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:49,210 Oh, hell no. Where's my coat? I need my ball. 135 00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:04,430 Come on, Denzel. 136 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:05,810 Come out of the water. 137 00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:08,470 That's right, Mama. Bring them out of the water. 138 00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:14,390 Dancing the professor wants. It's dancing he gonna get. 139 00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:18,450 Hey, big daddy. Looks like you're searching for a dance partner. 140 00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:20,050 Oh, yes, I am. 141 00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:22,110 And else, shall we? 142 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:28,030 Come on, boy. 143 00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:29,249 Let's dance. 144 00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,730 I don't know how to throw, sir. But you're about to learn. 145 00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:33,150 Break a leg. 146 00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,250 Hopefully that's the only thing I'll break. 147 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,360 a sausage. 148 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:31,960 Thanks for catching me, Stevie. 149 00:11:32,740 --> 00:11:34,200 Actually, I was ducking for cover. 150 00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:36,660 I'm glad your mama's relaxed. 151 00:11:37,180 --> 00:11:38,600 Otherwise, I'd have gone through the roof. 152 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,180 You need to find her and give her these. 153 00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:42,580 Give her something. 154 00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:46,460 That was great, Stanley. 155 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,640 I didn't know you had all those moves. 156 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:52,200 Well, there's plenty more where that came from. I can't wait to see you. 157 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,340 I'll be right back. I'm just going to go powder my nose. Well, you'll be 158 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,420 powdering perfection. 159 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:05,719 Want, Miss Parker? 160 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:06,780 Just a dance. 161 00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:08,800 One dance. No. 162 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:11,720 No. A thousand times no! 163 00:12:50,510 --> 00:12:51,510 I'm a professor. 164 00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:54,710 A professor? I'm not surprised, man. And where are you at? USC? 165 00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:55,970 UCLA? 166 00:12:56,490 --> 00:12:58,450 Santa Monica Community College. 167 00:12:59,590 --> 00:13:02,490 Yeah, that's where you can become a dental technician, right? 168 00:13:02,690 --> 00:13:04,830 Yeah, that's one of our programs. 169 00:13:05,430 --> 00:13:06,430 That's a tenure. 170 00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:12,330 No, no, no, but I am in charge of the campus activities. 171 00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:15,770 You're not putting up about me, man. What have you been up to? 172 00:13:15,990 --> 00:13:18,630 Oh, well, you know, me and college, we didn't click, so I... 173 00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:22,180 Started doing club promotions till I had enough money to buy one. Yeah? 174 00:13:22,460 --> 00:13:23,399 Which one? 175 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:24,400 This one, baby. 176 00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:26,940 Oh, my God. Man, that is great. 177 00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:30,220 Now, listen, you think I could get my money back, uh, you know, for old times' 178 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:31,500 sake? No, I'm just kidding, man. 179 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:33,460 You ready? 180 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,220 Hey, man, why? Do I look like I'm beat down and broke? 181 00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:38,420 Hey, come back here. I'll go, baby. 182 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,160 Damn. 183 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,960 Listen, uh, Kenny, I need a favor. You see that woman barreling over here? 184 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:45,419 Oh, a dog. 185 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:46,420 That's you? 186 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,080 No. 187 00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:51,610 Look, I need you to keep her busy. I'm sort of working on something else. Look 188 00:13:51,610 --> 00:13:53,110 at you trying to be a player, player. 189 00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:58,510 Hey, man, I got your back. I owe you. Hey, you sure you can handle it? Hey, 190 00:13:58,510 --> 00:14:01,450 I work my magic, she's just going to be a member of Club Kenny. 191 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:04,550 Hey, there. 192 00:14:04,830 --> 00:14:05,990 I think you're looking for me. 193 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:11,970 Excuse me? Why would I be looking for you? Because you're a woman, and I'm me. 194 00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:14,470 And you're all so tired. 195 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,430 Now move, boy. No, no, no. Come on now. 196 00:14:16,810 --> 00:14:19,490 I've been looking at you all night. Can I just get one dance? 197 00:14:19,830 --> 00:14:22,450 I mean, you don't want me to have to walk out of here with my tail between my 198 00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:23,450 legs. Huh. 199 00:14:23,610 --> 00:14:25,730 Well, tuck it in and take a seat. 200 00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:27,030 Not interested. 201 00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:30,930 What? You're going to be back, baby. 202 00:14:31,510 --> 00:14:32,449 Oh, yes. 203 00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:33,850 That's right. Get away from me. 204 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,210 Hey, hey, hey, Budden. You seen the professor? 205 00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:40,550 Mama, you're stressing. 206 00:14:40,910 --> 00:14:45,290 The professor's not going anywhere. He's on a date. Now, find a... 207 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:47,510 And play with your ball. 208 00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:48,590 You're right, Putin. 209 00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:50,270 I am a little edgy. Okay. 210 00:14:50,930 --> 00:14:51,769 All right. 211 00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:52,770 Inhale. 212 00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:58,870 Exhale. 213 00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:00,250 Let that witch go. 214 00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:02,530 Inhale. 215 00:15:04,290 --> 00:15:05,290 Exhale. 216 00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:58,450 And Dale is your best friend. 217 00:15:58,710 --> 00:15:59,850 And Dale is Satan. 218 00:16:02,010 --> 00:16:05,670 It doesn't bother you that your father is being my best friend? 219 00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:11,370 No. And Dale is like family, and Daddy is family. And you always said that 220 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,650 families should love each other. 221 00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:14,150 Love each other. 222 00:16:14,430 --> 00:16:16,210 Not make love to each other. 223 00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:19,870 Why do you care? You don't even want Daddy. 224 00:16:20,090 --> 00:16:22,470 Well, except for that booty call last year. 225 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,390 But what And Dale did was wrong. 226 00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:27,890 No, Mama, you're wrong. 227 00:16:28,270 --> 00:16:30,630 And Dale would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. 228 00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:32,090 Well, it still hurts. 229 00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:35,170 Well, it's going to hurt more if you don't let go. 230 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:38,030 Now, Mama, you remember that stress test. 231 00:16:38,370 --> 00:16:39,450 I want you around. 232 00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:44,350 Who else is going to take care of my baby? 233 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:02,680 What do you want? 234 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,579 I just want to apologize for my behavior. 235 00:17:06,839 --> 00:17:09,040 Huh? Well, I appreciate that. 236 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:14,000 In the spirit of sisterhood, I thought there are some things that I should 237 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:14,819 with you. 238 00:17:14,819 --> 00:17:18,300 A Sports Today swimsuit model. I don't get it. That was me. 239 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,960 A year and 110 pounds ago. 240 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,520 Sweet Jesus, what happened to you? 241 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:39,420 of the campus, preying on innocent co -eds and kicking them to the curb when 242 00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:41,200 he's done sucking all the love out of them. 243 00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:44,620 Oh, no, I can't believe that. 244 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,740 You poor dear. 245 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,700 Are you sure it was only 110 pounds? 246 00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:57,980 You could be next. 247 00:17:58,380 --> 00:18:01,060 No, no, no. Stanley was always so charming. 248 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,140 Can't I get through one day without hearing your voice? 249 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:24,980 I just wanted to say hi. 250 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,080 Oh, you said it. Now be gone. 251 00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:03,150 I didn't mean to hurt you. 252 00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:05,490 What happened with me and Mel just happened. 253 00:19:06,050 --> 00:19:07,210 I'm not even sure how. 254 00:19:07,570 --> 00:19:09,130 You sure kissed like you knew how. 255 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,030 Look, I'm sorry. 256 00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:16,190 I just came to say that Mel and I aren't going to see each other anymore. 257 00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:21,110 And if I had known it was going to bother you so much, I would have never 258 00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,110 there. 259 00:19:22,990 --> 00:19:24,650 You dumped Mel because of me? 260 00:19:25,210 --> 00:19:27,550 No. I didn't want to deal with his crazy ex -wife. 261 00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:30,910 Girl, I'm over it. Listen. 262 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:34,260 If you and Mel want to get back together, I wish you the best. 263 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:39,420 Nah. Besides, I can't date a man who has Popeye tattooed on his butt. 264 00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:10,830 And don't worry about crushing knees. 265 00:20:11,030 --> 00:20:12,030 That made it steep. 266 00:20:12,770 --> 00:20:14,570 Thanks, but I don't need them anymore. 267 00:20:14,870 --> 00:20:15,950 What about your stress? 268 00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:21,230 I was stressed out because I was doing too much. But now I got my boo back. 269 00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:23,270 I've decided to drop a class. 270 00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:28,570 I'm going to quit running about lady Egyptian sales and stop trying to 271 00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:29,610 on perfection. 272 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:32,470 You know what, Mama? 273 00:20:32,670 --> 00:20:33,850 That's a good idea. 274 00:20:34,050 --> 00:20:35,510 I've been feeling a little stressed. 275 00:20:36,010 --> 00:20:39,130 So to be extra sure, I'm going to drop all my glasses. 276 00:20:41,690 --> 00:20:43,170 Girl, let me see those balls. 277 00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:45,210 Oh, you're going to use them? Yeah. 278 00:20:46,690 --> 00:20:48,270 And I'm going to give you a running start. 279 00:20:50,530 --> 00:20:51,530 Nah, 280 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:02,770 besides, I can't date a man who has a bug bunny hat. 281 00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:04,030 It's not a bug bunny hat. 282 00:21:05,420 --> 00:21:06,420 Whoa!